Telling Everyone

We are family…da da da da da
da do wee.
—Gene Hackman as
Sen. Kevin Keeley in The Birdcage
—also The Pointer Sisters

Awedding joins many more people
than just the two who exchange vows.
When you are married, you join your lives
together, and that means your wedding affects
all the friends, family, and co-workers (and more
particularly, children, ex-spouses, and former love
interests) that you both bring to the union. It’s
likely that many of these people have already had
occasion to meet and they only need to be told
now that you two are making your relationship
permanent. If not, you have some work to do. In
any case, you have some announcements to make.
We will discuss other organizations and entities
that will need to know of your marriage (the post
office, your health insurance plan at work, and the
Department of Motor Vehicles, for example) in
Chapter 12, “Legal Considerations,” but for now
you need to tell your community—starting with
your parents and any children either of you might
already have.

Perhaps you’ve been living together for some time
now; everyone already thinks of you as a couple
and wouldn’t dream of asking you to a family gathering
without issuing the invitation to both of you.
Still, choosing your life partner is big news, and
you’ll want to share it with everyone you know.
There are a few rules governing this step in the
proceedings; some set by established etiquette
guides and others just based on common sense
and general good manners.