Gifts: Giving and Getting

If instead of a gem, or even a
flower, we should cast the gift of
a loving thought into the heart
of a friend, that would be giving
as the angels give.
—George MacDonald

Weddings mean gifts. There are
the gifts you receive in the form of
shower and wedding gifts, the ones you
present to each other and to your attendants, and
gratuities to the officiant, the musicians, and the
caterers. Because the words “wedding gift,” however,
bring to mind mostly those white boxes tied with
silver ribbon, the envelopes tucked discreetly in a
decorative birdcage set up to receive them, and all
the boxes and parcels that arrive on your doorstep
in the days preceding and following your wedding,
we’ll talk first about how you should deal with the
gifts you receive.
Because we get married at a later age than ever
before in history and because we have established
our own homes before taking this step, the tradition
of gift giving is slowly undergoing a sea of
change. Brides and grooms don’t need nearly as
much these days going into marriage as they did
in past decades. Quite often, a couple already has
an established household with plenty of dishes,
sheets, towels, and maybe even a waffle iron if one
of them is a good enough cook.

Whether you fly away to
Europe for a two-week wedding tour
of the Continent or spend a weekend in
a mountain hideaway, you’ll probably
leave for some sort of wedding trip or
honeymoon right after your ceremony.
Be sure you ask someone to check your
doorstep and mailbox while you’re
away. It’s a simple matter to put a hold
on your mail, of course, but with UPS,
DHL, FedEx, and personal couriers of
all sorts, it’s a good idea to take steps
to make sure nothing sits on your
doorstep for a week or two, subject
to rain, snow, sun, and thieves. Ask a
friend to check every few days to make
sure no packages are sitting beside the
garage door advertising your absence to
all sorts of rapscallions.