Choosing the Rings

Opportunity knocks for every
man; but you have to give a
woman a ring.
—Mae West

You’ll make many big purchases over
the next several months and spend a lot of money;
the average engaged couple spends about $28,000
on the festivities that surround their wedding
vows; some will spend as much as $80,000 and
about 2% will spend even more than that. You’ll
occupy whole days trying on wedding gowns looking
for just the right one that creates the best look
for you. You’ll interview florists and caterers, taste
food for the reception, and shop for invitations.
In the end, the gown will be worn for several hours
at best. The flowers will wilt the next day and be
trashed a few days later; the food will be eaten;
even the beautifully created work of art that is the
wedding cake will be demolished and the top layer
stored in someone’s freezer for you to eat, if you
dare, on your first anniversary; most of the invitations
will eventually end up in someone’s wastebasket.
But 50 years from now, at your golden wedding
anniversary celebration, you will still treasure
the diamond you choose at this time. The wedding
day will come and go, and years from now all you’ll
have from your wedding day will be memories and
photographs. The rings, though, will still be worn
every day, almost becoming a part of your body,
and now is the time to choose this jewelry that
will be with you for the rest of your life.

Deciding which ring to buy is, therefore, going to
be the choice you make that has the greatest longterm
impact on your life, other than the one
you’ve already made, of course: your prospective
spouse. Of all the choices you make over the next
few months, this is the one you need to be most
informed about.
Throughout history, a wedding ring has been a part
of the marriage rite, but it wasn’t always placed on
the third finger of the left hand. First one finger
and then another has been the digit chosen to be
encased by the wedding ring, and with a few
exceptions, throughout history it was only the
bride who wore a wedding ring. Although it is currently
the trend for husbands as well as wives to
wear wedding bands, this has only rarely been the
case in the past. Occasionally, a powerful Roman
Catholic or Church of England leader spoke out on
the matter and insisted that men and women both
wear wedding rings, but the practice for men soon
fell away as that leader’s influence waned. Today,
more men than ever wear wedding rings, perhaps
because we’ve changed as a society and women
have gained more economic and social power than
they ever had before in history.
The ancient Greeks were convinced that a vein ran
from the third finger of the left hand directly to a
woman’s heart (no mention of whether there was a
similar vein in men), and that placing a ring there
was symbolic of a direct link to her heart. The
medieval bride was often gifted with rings, but
they didn’t always come from her groom. His
female relatives often gave the bride rings as a gift
to welcome her to the family—and perhaps to
impart to her some of the wealth of the family.
Rings today symbolize love and commitment,
fidelity and honor on the part of both husband
and wife, but the truth of their origin is a bit less
romantic. Their original intent was most likely as a
sign of ownership. The woman wore the engagement
ring to show that she was spoken for and the
wedding ring simply sealed the deal.